荷塘月色
                                              作者 朱自清
    注释： 本篇为中国现代文学名作之一，体现了作者很高的语言艺术．英译文的遣词造句着力于传达原文的形众和音乐美，意在从盆体效果上这求原文所传达的意境。
    ① 声词的频繁出现是本篇的文体特色之一。此处的“翁蕊郁郁”，除“茂盛”（luxuriant）外，由于迭声的效果，还带着一种朦胧迷离韵味。从上下文看，甚至还进出作者“郁郁”的心境呢。译文用了"lush, shady ambience"一语，意在词义之外，借助sh音的重复来传达更多层次的意思。
    ②平行结构的多次运用，也是本篇原文的文体特色之一。从这句原文中我们可以看到这一句法结构因其在短语或句子一级的重复，非常有效地加强了文字的节奏感。译文利用英文中平行结构的类似效果，力图产生相应的感染力。
    ③一⑦原文这一组句子中频频出现的迭声词和平行结构所达到的音义相映，时空延绵，形象通感，在译文中采用了不同的手法力图取得相应效果。其中③用的是“变语” (Elegant Variation，即不重复原文的荷塘）和头韵法(winding…water, what…);
    ④看重捕捉触觉和空间印象(silken field)；
    ⑤从内容意义中追求句法的节奏；
    ⑥借助音律和头韵（如layers of leaves );
    ⑦的特殊效果在译文中没能传达出来，但从总体上看．译文在可能的地方注意到了语言的音乐美（如一些长辅音、长元音的运用，便是为了弥补类似此处的局部走失〕。
    ⑧此句中的“热闹”用lively和vitality二词译，前者意在呼应上文，后者平衡句子节奏。
    ⑨“花初”意指“花初开”，译为blooming(在开放），而不是budding。
    ⑩原文省略了主语（人物），在译文中需要补足，可供选择的有第一和第三人称。选用第一人称，是为了更贴近地刻画女主人公的心理。“秋”移至第二行译作the lilies的后置定语，是为了补足原文意思和平衡句式。
    ⑩一作“青”，译作green，此处从原作的引文，译为fresh。 （朱纯深译注）www.talentran.com

   译文二 (杨宪益、戴乃迭译，参见(英语学习1999年第5期)
Moonlight over the Lotus Pond The last few days have found me very restless. This evening as I sat in the yard to enjoy the cool, it struck me how different the lotus pool I pass every day must look under a full moon. The moon was sailing higher and higher up the heavens, the sound of childish laughter had died away from the lane beyond our wall, and my wife was in the house patting Juner and humming a lullaby to him. I quietly slipped on a long gown, and walked out leaving the door on the latch.
A cinder - path winds along by the side of the pool. It is off the beaten track and few pass this way even by day, so at night it is still more quiet. Trees grow thick and bosky all around the pool, with willows and other trees I cannot name by the path. On nights when there is no moon the track is almost terrifyingly dark, but tonight it was quite clear, though the moonlight was pale.
Strolling alone down the path, hands behind my back, I felt as if the whole earth and sky were mine and I had stepped outside my usual self into another world. I like both excitement and stillness, under the full moon, I could think of whatever I pleased or of nothing at all, and that gave me a sense of freedom. All daytime duties could be disregarded. That was the advantage of solitude: I could savour to the full that expanse of fragrant lotus and the moonlight.
As far as eye could see, the pool with its winding margin was covered with trim leaves, which rose high out of the water like the flared skirts of dancing girls. And starring these tiers of leaves were white lotus flowers, alluringly open or bashfully in bud, like glimmering pearls, stars in an azure sky, or beauties fresh from the bath. The breeze carried past gusts of fragrance, like the strains of a song faintly heard from a far-off tower. And leaves and blossoms trembled slightly, while in a flash the scent was carried away. As the closely serried leaves bent, a tide of opaque emerald could be glimpsed. That was the softly running water beneath, hidden from sight, its colour invisible, though the leaves looked more graceful than ever.
Moonlight cascaded like water over the lotus leaves and flowers, and a light blue mist floating up from the pool made them seem washed in milk or caught in a gauzy dream. Though the moon was full, a film of pale clouds in the sky would not allow its rays to shine through brightly; but I felt this was all to the good - though refreshing sleep is indispensable, short naps have a charm all their own. As the moon shone from behind them, the dense trees on the hills threw checkered shadows, dark forms loomed like devils, and the sparse, graceful shadows of willows seemed painted on the lotus leaves. The moonlight on the pool was not uniform, but light and shadow made up a harmonious rhythm like a beautiful tune played on a violin.ww.talentran.com
Far and near, high and low around the pool were trees, most of them willows. These trees had the pool entirely hemmed in, the only small clearings left being those by the path, apparently intended for the moon. All the trees were somber as dense smoke, but among them you could make out the luxuriant willows, while faintly above the tree-tops loomed distant hills - their general outline only. And between the trees appeared one or two street lamps, listless as the eyes of someone drowsy. The liveliest sounds at this hour were the cicadas chirruping on the trees and the frogs croaking in the pool; but this animation was theirs alone, I had no part in it.
Then lotus-gathering flashed into my mind. This was an old custom south of the Yangtse, which apparently originated very early and was most popular in the period of the Six Kingdoms,* as we see from the songs of the time. The lotus were picked by girls in small boats, who sang haunting songs as they padded. They turned out in force, we may be sure, and there were spectators too, for that was a cheerful festival and a romantic one. We have a good account of it in a poem by Emperor Yuan of the Liang dynasty called Lotus Gatherers:
Deft boys and pretty girls
Reach an understanding while boating;
Their prows veer slowly,
But the winecups pass quickly;
Their oars are entangled,
As they cut through the duckweed,
And girls with slender waists
Turn to gaze behind them.
Now spring and summer meet,
Leaves are tender, flowers fresh;
With smiles they protect their silks,
Drawing in their skirts, afraid lest the boat upset.
There we have a picture of these merry excursions. This must have been a delightful event, and it is a great pity we cannot enjoy it today. I also remember some lines from the poem West Islet: When they gather lotus at Nantang in autumn The lotus blooms are higher than their heads; They stoop to pick lotus seeds, Seeds as translucent as water. If any girls were here now to pick the lotus, the flowers would reach above their heads too -- ah, rippling shadows alone are not enough! I was feeling quite homesick for the south, when I suddenly looked up to discover I had reached my own door. Pushing it softly open and tiptoeing in, I found all quiet inside, and my wife fast asleep.
July, 1927 （source:www.talentran.com）
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